The Top Ten Strangest Laws in New Mexico
You’re a good person, right? I’m gonna come out and assume that you wouldn’t intentionally go around breaking laws and bringing harm to other people and/or yourself to get your sick kicks. They say ignorance is no excuse, but with such strange laws in circulation in New Mexico, who’s to know what the state considers what’s right and what’s wrong; legal or illegal. Luckily for you, I’m here to help. Here are the top ten strangest laws in the Land of Enchantment.
#10. Do not encourage a duel with a deadly weapon.
This one seems pretty obvious, but the thing that confuses me is that it doesn’t say anything about engaging in a duel with a deadly weapon, just strongly suggesting it to another person. In any case, I’d hate to encourage manslaughter, but duels seem like a rather polite and traditional way of settling a disagreement, no? No? Oh. Alright, then. Moving on.
#9. It is illegal to provide glue, spray paint, permanent marker or paint to a child without a parent’s consent.
This is another one that makes a lot of sense. I barely trust children as it is, but giving them something they’re almost certainly bound to eat or inhale or vandalize a building with seems like a terrible idea. The people in Carlsbad seem to know what’s up since doing so is against the law. As long as the parents are cool with it, I suppose. My advice? Drugs get better the older you get, kids. Don’t fret.
#8. You cannot throw something onto a field during an athletic event.
Sometimes sports fans can get a little excited during a game. So much so that they feel the only way to express their delight is to throw something onto the field. While I have never personally witnessed this, it’s had to have happened at some point since it’s now an enacted law. Best to let the athletes do the throwing, I suppose. Would hate for you to be thrown out. Eh? Eh? I slay myself.. But seriously, we don’t need another incident happening like what went down at the game between the Bills and the Patriots. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Look it up.
#7. A couple can have sex in a parked car during their lunch break, as long as the windows are covered to prevent people from seeing inside.
Sex is a wonderful thing to do (or so I’ve been told…I wouldn’t know). Then why spend your lunch break doing something silly like eating when it’s perfectly legal for you to get your freak on in a car? Just don’t forget the detail of covering your windows to detract from those pesky Peeping Toms that will surely come knockin’ while the car is a-rockin’. Although this law raises more questions that it answers, doesn’t it? Like, do they have to be my significant other? Does it have to be on my lunch break? Does the car have to be parked? Can it be my bosses car? It might be best to just keep it in the bedroom in this case.
#6. It is illegal to trip a horse.
I have no problem admitting that seeing people fall is the absolute funniest thing in the world. It’s only funnier the older they are and I realize that I’m a terrible person for feeling that way, but I can’t help it. Although when it’s a gorgeous, majestic, 2,000 pound animal, it just seems kind of mean, not to mention incredibly difficult. In this case it’s also illegal, so don’t do it.
#5. It’s against the law to dance around a sombrero.
Sombreros are fun. Dancing is fun. Dancing around sombreros is fun. Therefore, New Mexico lawmakers hate all things that are fun. Why and when and how someone decided it wasn’t okay to dance around the large, festive Mexican head gear is beyond me, but it certainly gets me depressed. There are other sources that even say it’s illegal to dance while wearing a sombrero, so perhaps it’s best to stick to a yarmulke or something when you feel like busting a move to avoid any fines.
#4. You can be arrested for spitting in public.
We get it. Spitting is a pretty disgusting act. I don’t know of anybody who really wants to see your saliva/phlegm combination go hurtling to the ground. I guess the folks in Deming are especially against this action, as doing so could land you in jail. There are a lot of reasons one might spit: chewing tobacco, a bad cold, a disgusting beverage. The best thing to do in this situation? We recommend just swallowing it.
#3. It is against the law for a woman to pump her own gas or change a flat tire.
I don’t want to admit to being a witness to a serious crime and not reporting it, but I’ve probably seen a woman pump her own gas at least several hundred times. One time I got a flat and I had to call my mom to change my tire for me, so there’s that. Perhaps lawmakers just wanted us guys to act like gentlemen every once in a while when it came to servicing a woman’s vehicle, since it’s totally illegal for a female to do either of those things. Or maybe they just hated the idea of a woman being behind the wheel of a car. That was a joke, by the way. I’m sorry. Let’s move on.
#2. It’s illegal to carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
Lunchboxes are pretty awesome. They hold your precious food, they fit perfectly in one hand, they’re typically square in shape. What’s not to like? Apparently, the lawmakers in Las Cruces aren’t as fond of them since toting one around Main Street is not allowed. Maybe the city is just trying to get more business in their restaurants or maybe they just prefer brunch…which begs the question: If your lunchbox has breakfast or dinner inside of it, does it cease to be a lunch box?
#1. Women are banned from being unshaven in public.
It should certainly be a woman’s right to go unshaven in public. Hairy legs? Whatever. Bushy armpits? That’s fine with me. Not so much in the city of Carrizozo, where apparently it’s a thing to demand that a woman shave herself before going out into public. How strictly this law is enforced, I’ll probably never know, but the strangeness and sexism associated with this law is pretty jarring to say the least. At least I know where to take my struggling waxing business. I’m gonna make a fortune.